Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Starting over

I had a seizure last night... not a big one, but it was there....I was asleep and my arms shaking woke me up.... still haven't figured out what caused it....

25 days was really great! My record was 42 days.... except when I was pregnant, and I went the first 6 months without one..

I can either let it depress me or I can move on... it happened, I can't change that, but I WILL NOT LIVE IN FEAR OF THEM EVER AGAIN!!!! Let's see how long I can go without another!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Henna Tattoo

The same friend of mine who hennaed my hair has gotten into henna body art... and she is rather amazing! I have seen some of the art she has done on pregnant bellies and let me tell you.... WOW!

She can do some pretty complex designs, but I went for something simple. I may see if she can do something more complex down the road.

The Beach

We took a family outing to Point No Point, and went to the beach and lighthouse there... it was a really fun outing!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

pseudo seizures

I have had pseudo seizures since 2002. It is a fact of my life. It invades every aspect of my life and prevents me from doing many things that I would normally do. I have learned to do some things to lessen the frequency of them. And when they do occur, my wonderful husband can help many times to lessen the intensity or duration of them.... I don't know what I would do without him.

The worst part of having these pseudo seizures is that many people, friends, family, doctors, acquaintances.... think that I am making it all up to get attention or that it is an effect of depression and that I should be able to just "snap out of it".... it is heart breaking. And there was a point when hearing all of these people tell me that it is all in my head made me think that I was a worthless person who wasn't strong enough to deal with stress, or even worse, to actually entertain the thought that somewhere in my head I really was just making it all up..... thank GOD that I have a support network who believes in me and knows that I couldn't make this stuff up. People who were there for the whole thing and can tell me objectively that super ventricular tachycardia can't be faked, that the discoloration on my heart could not have been the result of a person who was "faking it", people who have seen me have seizures, who have been there to see me get knots worked out of my muscles from the involuntary spasms that sent my body into contortions that could not possibly be faked. Pseudo seizures are scary and absolutely REAL.

A friend of mine gave me a link to a website at the University of Michigan that talks about pseudo seizures and dispels many of the myths and misconceptions that people have about pseudo seizures. I think that every person who thinks that pseudo seizures aren't real should read this before they hurt someone by telling them that they are faking it.


also, please visit http://www.non-epilepticseizures.com/information_about_nes.html

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Thanks for the advice!

I have been increasingly unhappy with my waistline and lack of energy, I have been eating well and my overall health has improved greatly, but I still had little energy and am not losing weight. I have also been getting cabin fever and have been wanting some time alone....

So I decided to kill two birds with one stone. For the past couple of days I have been walking from my home to the Waterfront Park in Downtown Poulsbo (about 1.5 miles one way) to knit while my son is napping. When my son wakes up, my husband drives downtown to pick me up. So I get about 2 to 3 hours to get off my butt and get some exercise and fresh air, time alone to think and to knit, and a break away from my husband and son.

It has been recharging! Physically, mentally, spiritually, recharging and refreshing. I should have thought of this a long time ago! Actually, I have my older sister to thank.... she has always been there to tell me when I need to pull my head out of my butt and get moving in my life, and now is no different. She observed that I rarely, if ever, get time by myself and that this could be dampening my life.... and after thinking about it, I realized that she was right. I needed change, a new outlook on life, a new perspective. So I wanted to tell her:

Thank you for your wisdom!