I have been having a hard time lately.... most of you know all about it, but for those who don't I will summarize.
I went for a long time with no seizures, and had gotten my hopes up that they were finally gone for good. I had been planning to move on with life in general and get a job and all that jazz... I was really excited! Then, Monday, April 13, 2009 I had three seizures back to back. I was devastated... and became depressed and suicidal.
The last two weeks have been really hard. I have had seizures nearly every day, and nightmares every time I managed to fall asleep. I couldn't sleep most nights and if it weren't for my husband, Church, friends, and family, I probably would have succeeded in committing suicide. I was convinced that I was not strong enough to handle this relapse.
Thanks to my awesome support group, I am still here.... and I can finally say that I am doing better. I have slept well since last Friday with no nightmares, I am getting mental health treatment, my doctor put me on Prozac, and I am making time to go to the Temple this coming Friday.
I am taking every day as it comes and not pressuring myself to "run faster than I am able". My house is a disaster, I had cupcakes for dinner last night, and I am lucky if I shower every day.... but I am taking care of me and my son and my husband in the ways that matter most.... and working on strengthening our family and getting me better.
Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes that have been coming our way... please keep them coming... I may be able to see the stars now, but it is a long way till dawn!