Saturday, March 13, 2010



We left to go to Harrison. They stopped us at the door saying that Dr. Lowe was on duty and was refusing to attend me for a VBAC, and although they can't technically turn me away in labor, unless I signed a cesarean consent form they would not be able to do more than put me in a bed and see if I was in labor. So we left.

We headed to TG. They put me on the contraction and heart rate monitors, but before we even got there my contractions had slowed... before we left the house they were 4-5 minutes apart and lasting at least 2 minutes each... that is why we left... I didn't want to take the chance that Lirum wasn't handling the really long contractions. On the monitors though, Lirum was doing fantastic. Variable heart rate, 1 or 2 possible decels that could have been when I moved or something. BUT:

My blood pressure was really high. That concerned me. They did a vaginal exam, that was excruciating... Kristina said she heard me screaming down the hallway! I have had vaginal exams before... cervical checks, pap smears, etc... but I have NEVER experienced that kind of agony before! I was barely dilated a fingertip... so, with my pressures being high and no dilation, we decided to do a BPP and monitor my blood pressures for a while and then do another cervical check to see if I was indeed in labor.

Lirum BARELY got an 8/8 on the BPP, she wasn't wanting to move, but at the last second she arched her back and the tech called it good. The placenta... oh the placenta... 1 1/2 weeks ago my placenta looked spotty, but not really terribly calcified, today it was completely white... there weren't any dark spots on it at all. That is a REALLY fast degrade! The tech saw it and couldn't help but say "WOW! That placenta is all used up!" I knew as soon as I saw that bright white placenta that I wasn't going to get my VBAC... especially with my blood pressure so high.

We got back to the room, and they came to check my dilation to see if I was progressing at all... but after that first cervical check 2 hours before, I had only had 3 or 4 contractions... and I even walked around the birthing unit trying to get it going before the BPP. So my cervix hadn't budged. At least after I told the doc that her first cervical check was excruciating, she was MUCH more gentle. They left after that and I pretty much just told everyone there that I would not be having a VBAC. I knew it... it was only a matter of time before the doc came in after looking at the BPP results and comparing them with my last one... and sure enough... She came in and said that if I were in active labor tonight, she wouldn't have a problem with me having a VBAC, but to wait God knows how much longer for me to start active labor on my own, since induction isn't an option, it is just too risky.

I wasn't even upset! I mean, sure, I was disappointed, feeling a loss of something I had worked so hard to achieve... but really, the whole point of working for a VBAC was to give my baby girl the best start in life... now a VBAC isn't the best start I can give her. If I wait for labor to start on its own, it could be weeks, and by that time the placenta could give out entirely... or if I go into labor, she could not tolerate it well... It is just too risky.

So I asked to be discharged. I will sleep in my own bed and have a good meal and head back to TG on Wednesday for a cesarean.

One last thing... I think it was absolutely fantastic the way I was treated at Tacoma General... the on call doc, Dr. Miller, was a gem. She was completely unbiased, supportive of my wish to pursue a VBAC and listened to me and made me feel like a real person and not just another patient to be "handled". I think she was impressed with me and my knowledge of my options and research... It was like we were on equal footing! Not once during my entire stay tonight did I ever feel in any way belittled, abused, or hornswaggled. So KUDOS to TG! I think the clincher though was when the doc said "I think you probably could have interpreted your BPP yourself!" After I told her that I had seen the change in the placenta with my own eyes and that I thought it would be best to have a cesarean.

IT WAS MY CHOICE. That made all the difference.

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